A disturbing tought...
I am still in pain, my wife said I was moaning the entire time as I tried to sleep for a few hours this morning.
I think this is unlikely but I found myself wondering this morning if the migraine I was having now was the same one I was having for weeks and weeks before I started the Depakote.
I found myself wondering if this was my new "normal" state. If the part of my brain that was malfunctioning and causing migraines is now permanently malfunctioning and the Depakote was the only thing keeping it in check.
Like I said, I doubt that is what is going on... at least I hope.
Just to remind readers... I am a long time cluster sufferer, I hate to confuse things by talking about migraines here, but recently I have developed pretty severe migraines as well. They are significantly different in feel and intensity but can also be nearly as annoying in some ways, like the fact that they don't go the hell away. I am used to Clusters... I have learned to deal with that beast. But migraines thats a totally different skill set. You know how after a Cluster breaks, how sometimes you can feel so much relief, the pain just falls away, leaving you with all the adrenaline and endorphins pumping. I have to admit sometimes I feel almost good after an attack. I feels like I should not have survived, yet I did...
Migraines are nothing like that... just a boring long banshee wail of really annoying pain that makes it hard to move, think, enjoy anything... for long long long stretches of time. Oh, and just for fun the banshee kicks you in the side of the head now and again for fun. When the headache does die down, it takes its own sweet time.
I am afraid that my future is to be filled with a rotating lazy susan of severe headache pain flavors. Yay!