The lull is over

I have been only having low-grade (about what think most people consider a bad headache) pain, and somedays not feeling any type of headache at all for many weeks now but that ended yesterday. I woke up in pain and thought it would just turn out to be another "low-grade day-long" thing. But around 4-3 in the afternoon I started feeling "stupid" and could feel the familiar discomfort that I have come to know as the prelude to a cluster attack...

At around 5pm as a test I started beating on my head with my fist and yup it "short circuited" the feeling and I realized I was at about a "1" it hovered there for a while and I thought I was safe and went to dinner with friends as I can "fake" normalcy all the way up to about a 3 or 4 if I am well rested.

During dinner it started to ramp up... this is a frightening situation. Clusters can reach full intensity very quickly and when in public you always are gambling that it won't get so bad that you will break character and start acting like a wounded animal. Beating yourself and growling tends to not get you invited back to parties.

I toughed it out but by the end of dinner I realized I was saying some kinda crazy crap and was becoming intolerant of chit-chat... It was gonna get bad. Luckily the dinner ended. (I have to wonder if people would have hung out longer if they hadn't perceived my discomfort or got tired of my increasingly rude behavior) By the time I got home I was moaning and "out of it". it got to about a 4-5 intensity and Katy rubbed my head and then "distracted" me in a very pleasant way as it ramped down quickly.

Not a bad episode in itself but like always... its discouraging to start having a new cycle of what are clearly clusters.

I woke with a headache this morning and its on the wrong side of my head and near the surface not responding to repetitive shock either so I would call it a migraine. It shows no signs of fading and is really killing my productivity. I really think I am just prone to headaches of any kind...

yay me.